40°44’27”N, 73°59’51”W

Some night in September of 2003, I don't rememember the exact date, I was in Chelsea with my boyfriend and some friends. At around 11pm, after many cocktails, I headed home...I was at Splash which is on 17th between 5th and 6th. At the time, I was l living on 49th between 9th and 10th. So I started to head west to either the 1 or 9 train or the E or C train , which would put me closer to home. I also probably wanted a cigarette on the way, so jumping on the nearest Subway or hailing a cab wasn't an options. Those were the days. in addition, even though there were a myriad of Straight and Gay bars on the way from Splash to the Subway, I had to pee like a mutherfucker...So I tactfully snuck behind the 1 and 9 entrance (you know the thing that you face as you're walking down the steps, not sure what you'd call it), on 18th St and 7th Ave. I started to pee. Luckly it was a quick one with plenty o' time to zip up. But not quick enough. Before I could shake, a cop car , lights blazing, pulled up. No sirens thank god. And I had the humiliating experience of getting a ticket for 'public urination.' The cop was a nice guy, kinda cute actually. Had to do it..not sure if it was a quota thing. But I was kinda breaking the law.

I hoped to pay the fine through the mail, but was instructed that I had to to go to court roughly a month later and appear before the judge at the courthouse on 54th between 9th and 10th. Which to be quite honest was painless. I took a paid vacation day from work. And instead of having to pay any kind of fine, I, along with about 6 homeless men and women who were most certainly alcoholics (I could smell them from the bench, as I'm sure the judge could as well), were sentenced to an hour + of 'Be A good New Yorker' class. This is the place where public urinators, people drinking liquor out of open containers, smokers in bars, dangerous skateboarder and rollerbladers go to understand why what they have done is an insult and an offense to our fellow New Yorkers.

An afternoon of my life, harmless except for being included with a bunch of homeless men and women (who btw looked like they had been to this class before and couldn't wait to go back free snacks and coffee after all), that's all!!!

In the end, I actually don't remember what I learned. What I do remember is, that I was glad that my tax dollars went to something that was trying to make us better citizens, as opposed to paying a useless fine which would scar my record and my bankbook, and only go into the pocket of a corrupt police official, no doubt.

David Gurland